First Dates With The 141
by Brahtson
Summary: The 141 warriors reminisce on their virginal dates with the task force. Banging with the team wasn't always pleasant.
1. Roach Had A Punny Date

Being in the special forces means specialised training sessions. Being in the team made up of the best special forces members from around the world means putting one's balls through the meat grinder almost everyday. As he nods off to slumber after an exhausting trip up and down a hill, Roach remembers the first time he went out on a date with the task force.

"Captain, we have Virgo secured. ETA to RV site, 5 mikes, over," Ghost spoke into his radio.

"Copy. We've set up a perimeter at the RV site, over," MacTavish replied. Ghost tapped Roach on the shoulder, and the team made their way down the wooded slope of the hill. Roach struggled with the handling of 'Virgo', their mission objective. He wished the captain had chosen something smaller for a package, instead of a big ass boombox.

As they cleared the woods, Ghost spoke into his radio once more. "Watch your fire, friendlies coming out of the trees at your one o'clock."

Ghost led Roach, Royce and Rook to the beach where MacTavish and his team kept watch over horizon for hostiles. The two teams wasted no time in prepping up their Zodiac boats. They revved the engines and were soon on their way back to base. But the weather was unkind, and the wind whipped the waves and stirred the sea. The two Zodiacs cleared their first giant wave. Roach could feel his heart fly out of his chest as they hit the water again. There were more waves to overcome, and night was creeping in.

An hour later, MacTavish received an update from Ghost. "Sir, hypothermia's gotten Roach."

"Have your team keep him close to share body heat."

"Already on it, sir."

Ghost carefully shifted his weight around the Zodiac, eventually managing to hug Roach. Even with Rook on the steering and Royce holding on to Roach, Ghost could see the FNG's lips turn pale and blue, and that he had stopped shivering. Ghost planted his face against Roach's neck. He shuddered at how icy Roach's skin was. The Lieutenant hoped the winds would calm down. It never happened, but he was relieved all the same to spot the outline of a shore and blinking lights in the distance.

Roach made his way back to his room after three days spent at the hospital near the base. Technically, he shared it with Royce, but it was still his room. It didn't take long for dear friends of the task force to find him in the corridors and tease him about the hypothermia incident.

Ghost patted him on the back. "You almost died. I think I deserve a kind word for the trouble I faced taking care of you."

Sergeant Gary Sanderson was flushed and flustered being at the centre of their attention. He tried to look away.

"Oh – I think he's giving you the _cold_ shoulder, LT!" Royce piped in.

Rook joins in the conversation. "Oh snap, you're gonna need some _ice_ for that burn!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm always _chill_," Ghost responds. As soon as the words tumbled out of his mouth, their captain called out to them from the bend in the corridor.

"Don't think you're _cool_ just yet. Hurry up, we have a mission briefing in ten minutes," MacTavish said.

Roach laughed heartily. "Icy what you did there, sir."

* * *

Military acronyms used;

ETA: Estimated Time of Arrival

RV: Rendezvous

Mikes: Minutes


	2. Ghost Was Cheated On

Titular description; Ghost's first date with the 141, when he was lied to.

* * *

Roach had woken up especially early today, after dreaming about his first mission with the task force. In the showers, he scrubs his face clean in the sink, shivering as the cold morning water splashes on his forearms. Soon enough, Ghost walks in donning nothing but cartoon bear paw patterned boxer shorts, the kind that makes grown men blush and grandmothers heap compliments. He turns to Roach, and eyes him silently. Roach returns the gaze.

"Morning," Roach mumbles.

"Good morning."

"So," Roach says.

"Hmm."

"Good sleep?"

"Yes."

"Cute boxers," Roach says. He tries his best to not look as tired as they both, deep down, know he is.

"Thanks mate," Ghost says, also trying not to look as exhausted as Roach.

They pick up their toothbrushes. Molars, canines, incisors. Molars, canines, incisors. The air hangs like someone trying not to exhale. They're good friends but; two men in boxers, staring at each other as they brush their teeth. If there's a more awkward situation, Roach would very much like to hear of it.

"Sir, do you remember the first time you went on a mission with the One-Four-One?" he asks.

* * *

Sunday. It's _Sunday_, god forbid, _Sunday_ and the prime minister simply had to choose that day to meet the German diplomat. His first mission with the 'best of the best' would be a BG job, on Sunday. That's the one day when the telly actually showed anything remotely interesting for him. There was a documentary about dinosaur fossils and bones on Sunday, he didn't want to miss it. Think about it. _Bones._

Bones are amazing. Bone structures hold everything together. Every building starts with metal frames. Every plant has a stem for support. Or stems. Trunks. There were many more idioms that he could have thought up, but one would get the point long before he finished._  
_

The strapping young Lieutenant checked his kit for the second time. M9 on his belt, concealed radio wires running up and down his sleeve, chic sunglasses on his nose and a striped tie around his neck.

"Don't forget the umbrella, it's the most important gear," MacTavish reminded him. Ghost looked up from his bag.

"In case it rains," MacTavish curtly states. "Make sure you bring your tampons as well."

Bloody hell, he forgot the tampons. He always forgets the tampons. To be fair, he was preoccupied thinking about how the team had planned this mission for two weeks, only to have it pushed from Monday to Sunday.

Besides, BG jobs were amazingly boring, and everyone in the team knew it.

They picked up the prime minister at the airport in Berlin, with 3 vehicles in tow. Rook personally drove the middle vehicle that would carry the prime minister since he was, in his own words, "balls-to-the-wall awesome". And indeed he was, having the skills to operate anything from a truck, to a limousine, to a unicycle.

They drove away from the airport, toward the Reichstag building. Ghost had learned all about being a bodyguard in the SAS. He had to keep watch on the surroundings at all times, report any suspicious activity and constantly update the team about every other movement. Trouble was, their VIPs weren't always cooperative. At times they would wish for the bodyguards to 'back off', or sleep later, or even make unscheduled stops. Unscheduled stops meant danger, and that was exactly what the prime minister wanted to do. Ghost supposed these unscheduled visits to local residencies were for photo ops.

In the vehicle, Captain MacTavish tried to dissuade the prime minister from stopping. "Sir, making this stop could put you in harm's way. We don't know what to expect over there. Can you reconsider it?"

"I can't do that, young man. I have to talk to the people," the prime minister said.

"Are you sure, sir?"

"Yes."

"Are you absolutely confident in your decision?"

"Yes, now stop at that tea house!"

Amidst a growing crowd, the team got into position; form a barrier around the VIP, push old ladies and strangers down and absorb accidental punches and clawing to the face. They followed the prime minister into the tea house and sat there, staring at each other while waiting on the prime minister to finish his slice of sponge cake. All that was left, after that, was to escort the prime minister to the Reichstag building and hand him over to the German security personnel.

There was something positive to look forward to, though. Captain MacTavish had promised to buy the team cake as a treat after the mission was over and done with. That never happened. Whenever John MacTavish mentioned cake, it was always a lie.

* * *

"He lied about the tea and scones too," Ghost says, shaking his head. "What a load of bollocks."

"That's more fun than catching hypothermia," Roach says, spitting into the sink.

"To be honest, Gary, any mission's better than BG."

"Thank you for the concern, Lieutenant," Roach says. He bites down on his lower lip when he hears his first name mentioned.

Ghost looks at Roach and coyly smiles. "You're welcome, Sergeant."

"I...need to go for a dump," Roach says, abandoning the sink for the toilet.

"I didn't have to know that."

"Sorry."

* * *

Author's Note; True, tampons are included in military kits (special forces, as far as I know) and may be used for two things; starting a fire and stanching the flow of blood resulting from a bullet penetration. They're basically pressed cotton.

I'm also confident the next date will be more engaging than Ghost's date. Ghost gets the worst dates. He always does. He deserves it because he's too cool.

Acronym used;

BG: Bodyguard(ing)


	3. Royce Got Disciplined

Titular description; Royce's first date with the 141, where he gets punished.

* * *

"Where have you been, Sandy?" Royce asks, yawning on his bed. He rubs his eyes and has another look at Roach, who by this time is clean-shaven and dressed in his PT attire. "Couldn't sleep?" he asks again.

Roach flops on his bed. "I had assplosive-"

"If it's diarrhoea, I don't want to hear about it," Royce cuts in, hugging his pillow tighter. Roach purses his lips, makes the gesture of locking it and throws away the imaginary keys. "You keep getting it lately, too. Have you been drinking coffee with the new artificial sweeteners we have in the mess hall?"

"Uh-"

"Well don't do that, you might be intolerant to that stuff. Oprah says you might also be having it because of bacterial infections," he continues, mumbling into his pillow.

Roach breathes in sharply and asks, "You're still reading her magazine?"

The one with his head sinking into a pillow suddenly jumps up, and emphasising his irritation, frowns deeply. "Excuse you brah, not everyone likes baggy pants and loose jackets."

"Darn, Royce. How did you ever come to _be_ Royce?" he asks. Royce flops back onto the pillow and starts to tell a story.

* * *

He remembers the first time he went out with the team. Mountain climbing in the Himalayan mountain ranges with a team for training. Royce looked up to Archer above him on the wire. He struck the ice with his axe.

There was a dreaded crack.

Before he could say the words, "I thought you had the ice recce'd!" the ice sheet that provided footing gave way. He slipped, and his weight pulled Archer down with him. Toad was in turn dragged from the safety of the ledge and to the perils of hanging by a wire. It all happened quickly, and it stopped just as abruptly as it had started. Ghost and the Captain were still on the ledge. The first ice screw atop the cliff had saved the team.

"Okay, stabilise! Archer, is the second screw intact?" MacTavish yelled out.

"Sir, it's gone!" Archer shouted back.

The Captain decided pulling on his wire to move up would end up risking their only ice screw that kept them from falling. He got out his ice axe. "Move up with me!" he shouted down to the team.

Right, left, ri-

_Crack_

Ghost slipped down and now he was on the edge, lower half struggling to find footing on the loose cliff side. The more he tried to pull himself up, the further down he slipped. "Wanker of a cliff!" he cursed.

"Sir, I can try swinging to gain momentum to reach the cliff side!" Archer yelled overhead. He struggled to pick at the cliff that was two metres from his reach.

"Negative, it's too risky!" MacTavish shouted to him.

"Sir," Royce shouts. "We're stuck and we're too heavy!"

"Whatever you're thinking of doing, I'm not giving the order!" MacTavish asserted.

"But it's-"

"I made my point clear!"

"Sir, he's got his knife out," Archer shouted, looking on.

"Royce, I'm going to NJP you after you're dead!" John MacTavish said with all the confidence he could muster. "And I'm going to NJP your mother while I'm at it!"

Half the team were literally hanging by a wire, with one ice screw being all that kept them from plunging to their deaths. Their Lieutenant was struggling and straining to get himself up, bearing with him the weight of three men. Sooner or later they would fall. Royce shut his eyes for a moment and blocked out his Captain's words. He inhaled and swiped the knife on the rope. And he fell,

down,

_down,_

_down,_

_do-_

"UFF!" he coughed, writhing in pain. He didn't know a magical ledge existed.

"Shite!" Ghost panted as he suddenly felt much lighter.

"Sir, he's still alive!" Archer said, looking down in horror. "He might've broken something but he's there!"

"Good. We need to climb back up first and contact base! On my right," MacTavish said. "Right!"

_Right, left, right.._

Royce remembered feeling as if a bulldozer had run him over. At the same time, he felt numb all over. Throbbing numb. He couldn't feel his legs. He couldn't feel his back. But he was pretty sure he landed on his legs and not his back. Fuck it all, he thought. His mind blacked out.

The next thing he remembered was looking at the ceiling panel of a helicopter. It was sunset too. The breeze was in his hair and the Captain was sitting a feet from where he lay. Was he dreaming? It felt like a dream. During that heli ride endless trains and cargo ships of thought plowed through his mind. He thought about the worries of life. Chicks, cash, chicks, politics, the environment, cash, how fucked up everyone was, chicks and how Archer kept stealing his porn magazines. He only worried about them because he wanted to. He could free himself from them. Choose new beliefs and not have to stand for Archer's bullshit "Toad-told-me-to-do-it" excuses.

It felt like an epiphany. It felt like he found peace itself.

"Cap'n..don't talk shit 'bout m' mother.."

"Shut yer trap."

* * *

Royce sniffs at the memory. "I was fortunate I only broke my ankle. But the Captain NJP'd me anyway," he says. "Since then, I've been trying to live my life by the Dharma."

"You're like the antithesis to Meat."

"Sands, trust me. That guy's the gayest one of all," Royce says with a cheeky grin.

Roach gets up from his bed and flicks his ears. "Come on, PT's in fifteen."

"Can I go in my underwear?"

"No."

* * *

Author's Note; After what he said at the start of Takedown, Royce really strikes me as a softer person, compared to most others in the 141. And I've been considering typing Soap's chatter for the upcoming chapter like, "Aye mate yer pissin' me off wit' yer Ned talk aboot things!" And maybe Ghost can be like, "I lahv thy scones and bones - Guv'naaar!" But obviously that won't happen. Would it?

Military acronyms used;

PT: Physical Training

Recce (also Recon): Reconnaissance

NJP: Non-Judicial Punishment


End file.
